You are unique pair. With your own origin story, special super powers and one-of-a-kind connection. On your wedding day you will gather all those you hold dear around you to celebrate your love. This day deserves a ceremony worthy of such a wonderful occasion and excellent couple. That’s what a Humanist Ceremony is. Your story. Your relationship. Your celebration.
“The whole day was a blast, but we never imagined the ceremony itself would be the most magic bit”
Alison and James
Maybe there are traditions you want to hold fast to, maybe you want to rip up the rulebook. That’s the fun of a humanist wedding, you really can do whatever you want. Below I’ve picked out some of the elements there are to play with. But it’s all just food for thought. Keep it, ditch it, make it your own. Bring me your ideas. Challenge me to dream up something new in collaboration with you. The only real limit is your imagination, and probably the laws of physics!
Any place or time
A humanist ceremony can be held anywhere. At its simplest you have your pick of venues, no restrictions. But it also means you can go further off piste. On a beach, in a forest, up a mountain, your back garden, anywhere goes. You don’t have to opt for two rows of chairs framing an aisle either. Your guest could stand or sit on hay bales, you could get married surrounded by a circle of friends and family. It could be at dawn, or as the sun sets. I’ve yet to marry a couple under the stars next to a roaring bonfire, but I’m game if you are. I think it would be very romantic.
Magical touches
These are usually called ‘symbolic gestures’ which is a bit of a mouthful. It simply refers to all the special little meaningful moments you might want to include. For example there’s ring warming; where your wedding bands are passed around your guests for each person to warm them with their hands and their well wishes. Or the ancient Scottish tradition of hand-fasting, often called ‘tying the knot’. Perhaps you want to down a shot to seal your vows. Maybe you’d like your pet dog/rabbit/chicken to parade down the aisle and deliver the rings. Or there might be an important wedding ritual from your culture that you would like to include.
Have you always imagined walking down the aisle on your dad’s arm? Or maybe you’ll be walking with mum. Or perhaps the idea of all those eyes on you is absolutely terrifying and you’d much rather skip it. Maybe you both want your time to shine in the limelight and will make an entrance together. Maybe your entire family wants to conga down the aisle to an epically joyous banging track! One wedding detail, so many ways to play it.
Your vows
This could be the one bit that you want to keep traditional, maybe for you it won’t quite feel like a wedding without ‘to have and to hold’. Or are you going to write them yourselves and keep them a secret until the day itself? Whether funny, soppy, playful or romantic, the most important thing is to make sure that the promises you make to one another on your wedding day are truly meaningful and authentic to both of you.
Music and readings
They all set the tone, carry so much emotion and meaning, here you can really go to town. Gospel choir, string quartet, get everyone to sing along. There is so much beautiful poetry and prose to choose from, or do you have a gifted articulate friend who’s going to pen something themselves? Can the best man juggle? Would that add anything to your wedding? Choose wisely, choose wildly, make everyone laugh, make everyone cry, get them laughing and crying at the same time!
